Burnin' Down the House

As requested, highlights from last week's Slack Shack Karaoke Madness:


Lover-Boy Mike



Grae & Will Breakin' It Down



Dancin' Queens Kat & Jessica



Mike & They Call Her One-Eye





And of course, my personal favorite:



The rest are available on my Flickr page

D.o.S. #34

New Enter the Den of Sin column now up on Film Threat.

Name That Tune

Cute article from The Guardian about how a song can be changed by its use in a film. Personally, "Afternoon Delight" will always make me think of rainbows & "love pandas" and despite being almost unapologetically sappy, "In Your Eyes" still gives me the warm fuzzies because of "Say Anything". I'm such a girl sometimes.

Farewell, Mr. Miyagi

Actor and comedian Pat Morita, passed away yesterday. He was 73.

Xmassacre Update

Okay, I've set up a temporary site with information about this year's Xmassacre and a name for our monthly series:

Evil Film School

Check it out and let me know what you think.

Sorry, Ken

Okay, so it looks like I owe Ken Watanabe an apology. After reading this article on Empire Online, I'm left with the impression that Mr. Watanabe is aware that his purpose in Hollywood is to sell crap to his countrymen, but he's gonna try to sell them a little homegrown melodrama back. I have to applaud this. Not because I believe it will be successful. In fact, I believe his Alzheimer's film will sink like a mossy stone. I applaud it because it only seems fair that the tide of crap should be able to wash both shores.

So, gomenasai Watanabe-san.

Informal Poll

I need some help. I can't decide who is more awesome, this guy or this guy?

Post your choice in the comments.

Movies I Watched Instead of Writing: Turkish Edition

Wasn't feeling well last night, so Beej had some people over & I ended up watching "Killing in Istanbul" (a.k.a. Kilink in Istanbul) with them. Not really sure how to describe it. The print was terrible, but that somehow made it even more fun, especially when the tape started pixilating since it had obviously been dubbed from a DVD. If it wasn't for the rather graphic violence & odd attention to sexuality, it could have been a kids movie. Actually, the whole film seems to walk this very weird fine line between super sleazy and super wholesome. And I was never sure who to root for: skeleton suited super villain Kilink or the incredibly dull Shazam (called "Superhero" for copyright purposes) who looked more like a cross between 40's era Batman and Superman? I also enjoyed the fact that having any kind of superhero or villain in the general vicinity of Turkey was a big deal, even though his reasons for being there were flimsy at best. Not even so bad its good, but oddly compelling viewing none the less.

Wanky Art Post

Turns out my neighborhood, on top of being hipster central, is also a hotbed of very cool graf-art. In particular, the alley just kitty-corner to my house is littered with great stencil work that I admire on my way home from the grocery store. So, after admiring it for a while now, I finally decided to start chronicalling it & I'll post my favourites here from time to time.

This is probably the most recent one, although I haven't really been keeping track.

An old favourite. For obvious reasons.



I think the placement really makes this one.



There were other really good ones, but they've been covered up or have faded too much to bother photogrpahing. I'll keep adding to the collection as I find stuff though...

Wherein I Scream Like an Idiot & Dance in a Circle

Been wanting to post about this for a while, but I didn't want to jinx anything. However, most of the pieces are in place so I'm going to go ahead & bust this thing wide open:

The D.o.S. is going public!

That's right, now even you, John Q Public, can attend a Den of Sin night (if you live in the Vancouver area). Our first "event" will be the 3rd Annual Xmassacre, our annual Christmas party, to the hosted at the Blim Arts Society (17th & Main) on Dec 16th (Friday)!!! Mark your calendars in gaudy red ink!!! Admission will be by donation ($5 suggested) to cover operating costs & doors will be at 7pm (show @ 8pm). On top of our feature presentation, we hope to bring you Glogg, trailers & we will be doing a "Crappy Santa Gift Exchange", so bring a wrapped present of little or no value to put into the pot.


Our feature presentation (baring any customs snafus) will be "Santa Claus", a Mexican children's movie from the early 60's that features (among other things), Santa Claus fighting Satan. Fantastical sets, bizarre Catholic overtones & a fixation on voyeurism highlight this highly entertaining piece of cinema obscura.

Needless to say, I'm excited as hell, but also very scared & stressed. If this is successful, it will be the beginning of a regular monthly event at Blim, tentatively titled: D.o.S. Presents: Cinema Detritus. Future programs to be determined, but I will be accepting shorts submissions of a bizarre and/or exploitive nature (tell your filmmaking friends). Also, if you have mad skills as a graphic designer, web designer and/or host we could probably use your help.

Well, I guess that's all for now. I have to go finish my happy dance.

Movies I Watched Instead of Writing: Pinky Edition

Being that I was still recovering from yet another night of karaoke debauchery, we decided to take it easy & have Brendan & Nick over for a little movie action. Started off with a couple episodes of our newly acquired Pee-Wee's Playhouse set which continues to surprise me with how good it is. And how well they were able to disguise the gay innuendo, of which we've been able to count at least one instance per episode so far. What a great public service Paul Reubans did for the world with that show. It almost makes me want to have kids so that I can show it to them.

Once we'd had enough we had some choices. More Samurai Champloo? Jay & Silent Bob Do Degrassi (I'm a nerd, okay?!) ? But then I heard those two magical words: Sex & Fury. It was made for Toei in 1973. Directed by Norifumi Suzuki (School of the Holy Beast, Beautiful Girl Hunter). It features a naked sword-fighting, tattooed Reiko Ike (Sukeban Gorilla & Graveyard of Honor). And, Christina Freakin' Lindberg is in it! Christina!!!

Turns out we made the right choice, as this could very well be the best movie ever. Naked sword fighting in the snow. An Orientalized Christina getting it on with a Japanese serving girl (I don't know how, but they managed to make Christina even hotter). Nuns with switchblades. Christina (in a buckskin outfit no less) taking a whip to a naked rope bound Reiko in front of a giant stained glass Jesus. An awesome psych-music soundtrack. And I know what my next tattoo is going to be. If you think you are a fan of Japanese sex-ploitation, or exploitation in general, see this movie. Trust me.

Also, is it just me, or does Amber Tamblyn look just like Christina Lindberg?

The Good News & The Not So Good News

I just finished writing the final script of my first Anime series! 13 of 13 episodes, baby!

Also, my ex-boss just reminded me I'd agreed to help him out at a bike show the first weekend in December, so I won't be going to Whistler after all.



On the other hand, the bike show pays money, whereas Whistler does not.

(And in case you were wondering, no, I don't actually ride.)

Two Things...

First up, another Cinemuerte update: The audience award winners have been announced. A little surprised that "Trouble" won, but I think it's 'cause barely anyone saw "Calvaire". Too bad.

Also, got my press accreds confirmed for the 2005 Whistler Film Festival (Dec 1 - 4). Great Yokai War, here I come!

D.o.S. #33: Cinemuerte

Film Threat just posted my festival 2005 recap. It's basically the same as my blog post, with some minor adjustments & fewer photos.

In other Cinemuerte news, Eugenio Mira's first video diary entry is now available online. It might take a while to load, but it's really cool, so bear with it.

filmgurl Gets Ranty on Your Rice-King Ass

Found this article about the marketing tie-ins for "Memoirs of a Geisha", including an Asian themed fashion line from Banana Republic, green tea in tins w/ Zhang Ziyi's face all over them and something known as "rice face wash" (I also enjoy the fact that the actual name of the beauty line is "Fresh: Memoirs of a Geisha").

Now, I've resisted posting about the whole "Memoirs of a Geisha" thing for a while, mostly because I don't want to come off like some sort of "Yellow Power" extremist, but I don't even know where to begin with this, other than to say that it confirms my opinion that the film and the book are really just about trying to sell some sort of Oriental fantasy. It isn't a love story. It's not about "women's feelings". It's about perpetuating an image.

I mean, people complain about "Harold & Kumar Go To Whitecastle" being racist, but they're okay with this? Zhang Ziyi is Chinese. Michelle Yeoh is Chinese (born in Malaysia). Gong Li is Chinese. Sure Ken Watanabe is Japanese, but he was in "The Last Samurai" and I personally think that should be enough to have his nationality revoked. Saying that Asian women are interchangeable like that is generalization based on fetishism. I won't argue that they aren't all great actresses, I am a great fan of all three women, I just have a hard time believing they couldn't find even one Japanese girl to put in the lead. Actually, no, wait, I can, because no Japanese woman worth her salt would have touched this thing with a ten foot pole.

While things are certainly getting better for the way that Asians are depicted in Western media than they were say in the days of "Long Duk Dong", I still think there's a long way to go with the way that Asian women are depicted. Granted, I have exploited my status as a "hot Asian girl" on occasion, imitating school girl giggling & wearing a Kimono on Halloween (once, and it was a mistake), but I can at least argue that I'm doing so "ironically". Or at least that's what I'm going to keep telling myself.

Enough for now. I'm going to go brew myself some "spring cherry green tea" to calm down.

Terminal City Terminus

Without a doubt, one of the highlights of my brief tenure at Terminal City was the Friday night dinners. And so, last night we had the last of those dinners. Although there were no outright tears, there were certainly a lot of misty eyes and even Chris had to keep from getting choked up as he thanked everyone for their efforts. I got to catch up on my local politics, watch beer pitchers arrive in pairs every 15 mins for 4 hours, learn about how Matthew Good is Chris' nemisis, get to know "the Svelt Elk", hear intimate details of a murder trial involving a guy I went to highschool with & generally continue my two and a half week bender.

Thanks for the good times, everyone.















Now back to reformating my computer...

Ugh.

Seattle, Rock'n, Pleaseeasaur & Neil Hamburger

And the fun just keeps on coming. After a particularly debaucherous night of karaoke on Wednesday, got into a truck w/ Owen at the ungodly hour of 8:30AM & drove down to Seattle so that he could pick-up some stuff & I could see Miyuki & Christian for the first time since I witnessed their wedding. Took longer than expected, mostly because of construction and a crapload of traffic. Couldn't have helped that we were both operating on about 4 hours sleep. Thank you, Penguin Mints (god I'm a nerd). Got to hang out for about 2 hours & eat some rather good Thai food before we had to get back onto the road so that I could get to the Pleaseeasaur/Neil Hamburger show @ the Railway.

Although we were told doors were at 8:30PM, I knew from experience that nothing would be happening 'till at least 11PM. Wandered down with Brendan around 9:15PM & immediately realized what a bad venue The Railway Club was for the show. Although a great bar, the stage area is very small & I was forced to sit for most of the show, but that wasn't really even that bad since I was right up front & center for Pleaseeasaur & Neil. Did manage to stand through the opening act's set: the amazing Rock'n. Even had to spot their guitarist "Rick Rock'n" as he climbed onto a tiny bar table for his triumphant solo. Graeme described them as "kind of like Wesley Willis meets Andrew W. K." Highlights include Joey, the lead singer's fanny-pack & a particularly kick-ass cover of Neil Young's "Keep on Rockin' in the Free World". Was a little disappointed to find out they weren't actually from Cincinnati, but not really that surprised. Graeme seemed surprised to find out that I am a Neil Young fan.

Next up was Pleaseeasaur, which was awesome because only Mike & I had seen him before & I spent much of the night scanning the bar for everyone else's reactions. A lot of mouthed "Oh. My. Gods." He didn't do "Meat Flavored Island" (Parts I or II), which was disappointing, but all in all it was classic Pleaseeasaur.

By the time Neil Hamburger actually hit the stage, Brendan & I had to make a pact that one of us would make sure the other one got home. I'm enjoying my renewed alcohol tolerance. Another reason it was good we were sitting down, although it did make me think I was back in kindergarten. Neil the man was in fine form, calling out the drunk girl who threw stuff at him & refusing to do "Zipper Lips" because of the lame quality of the heckling. After the show, Neil even mingled with the crowd:



Kinda wish I could remember more details, but an awesome show none the less.

Loose Ends

Something I meant to post about months ago:


Everyone's favourite local smutmeister, Robin Bougie, now distributes DVDs!

His first release is Female Convict Scorpion: Beast Stable (FCS #3), which was featured in D.o.S. #14.

Buy it now!

Two of the Best Weeks of My Life: Part 2

Okay, only one full week since it actually happened, here is my eagerly anticipated Cinemuerte 2005 recap! A big huge thanks to all of the folks who helped to make this the second in as many weeks to qualify as one of the best of my sad little half-Asian life. You know who you are. For the rest of my Cinemuerte pix check out Flickr.

And so begins a tale of booze, name-dropping, and freaky, freaky film:

Wednesday Oct 26/05

Traditionally, Cinemuerte kicks off with a Gala screening for volunteers & passholders. A great movie, free beer & kickin' tunes always make for a good time, and this year was no exception. Like most years, I had no idea what the opening film would be like & let me just say I was blown away. I'm usually rather leery of French films (don't get me wrong, some of my favourite films are French, but you know what I'm talking about) however, let me just say that Calvaire is a stunning piece of terror francaise. Kind of like a creepier French version of Deliverance, with a dash of Misery thrown in for good measure. The film is infused from the first frame by a claustrophobic sense of dread, and although the progression of events is fairly predictable (the English title is "The Ordeal"), the sadistic depths to which it dives are more than enough to keep you riveted. As close to hell as you are likely to get in a film this year. Apparently it won the Grand Prize at the Amsterdam Fantastic Film Festival, and if you can take it, I do recommend checking it out. In the meantime, you can check out the trailer
here. A little flashier than the film itself, but it does give you a taste. After the film was done, Beej & I had to get to work pouring that free beer & minglin' with the horror folk. The tone was a little subdued since most people were aware that this would be the last Cinemuerte, but on the other hand people seemed to be making more of an effort to socialize with different people, since we may not have the opportunity again for some time.

Thursday Oct 27/05

Although I wasn't on the schedule to volunteer, I spent some time selling tickets before the first film of the night, the Japanese nunsploitation epic: School of the Holy Beast. Although we had actually screened it as "Convent of the Sacred Beast" as part of the Den of Sin, the opportunity to see it on the big screen was almost enough to make this pinky-fan pee herself with delight (if you get the joke, you get it. If you don't, see the movie). Got into a bit of an argument with Robin (Bougie, creator of the fabulous trash film zine Cinema Sewer) before the film started over whether the hockey team at the beginning was in fact the UBC Thunderbirds. I swore that it was since we'd actually freeze framed it when we watched it at the Den, but he wasn't convinced. Now seeing it in 35mm, I think Robin owes me an apology. Once that was done with, we had to prepare for the highly anticipated (and totally sold out) Buffy Sing-Along. Goodie bags were assembled by the entrance to the theatre, and volunteers were stationed at both doors to deal with the seething mass of Buffy Fans gathered out in the cold Vancouver night. Despite some high tensions due to the fact that it was sold out, and the Globe & Mail apparently advertising it as a "free" event, everyone got into the theatre without a hitch. After all that, we volunteers decided to head to the Side Bar (unofficial bar of Cinemuerte) to deal with the stress & hang with Wiley Wiggins who was in town to judge the Bloodshots 48 Hour Filmmaking Contest. Got really excited when I spotted Tahmoh Penikett (Helo on Battlestar Galactica), because I am a big nerd. Sadly I had no one to share my nerdiness with until after he had left the pub. Sometime around midnight, we started to wonder where Kier-la had gotten to, since the screening would have long since finished and she had yet to meet us. Robin & Danielle went back to the Cinematheque to check on her, and their news was not good: apparently some gooberheaded Buffy Fan had decided that it would be a good idea to polish off a bottle of wine with her companion, in the theatre. They then proceeded to get so unruly that the manager had to be called down multiple times & they were eventually ejected from the theatre (an act that resulted in cheers from the audience). However, on their way out of the theatre, gooberhead pulled a juice bottle from a trashcan and threw it at the Cinematheque, smashing one of the windows. Amusingly enough, gooberhead was a Bloodshots contestant & her information was forwarded to the police. Once that was mostly cleared up, we continued drinking for more hours than I care to recall before staggering up the street to flag a cab home.



Friday Oct 28/05

Being that the only thing we were that interested in seeing was the 12:30AM screening of The Thing, we decided to take a little break from Cinemuerte & instead attend The Great Big Boo, a "Halloween Dance Spectacular" that a friend of a friend was dancing in. In an ill-advised attempt to deal with my hang-over from the previous night (actually, scratch that, I woke up drunk), I consumed the first of two energy drinks with my dinner before the show. Although not something I would recommend doing straight, we certainly "enjoyed" ourselves up in our Stadler & Waldorf balcony seats. I thought BJ was going to die when Snoopy came out on stage accompanied by "Who Let the Dogs Out". I was more amused by the tiny girl in the Snow White costume who ran in a circle for about 15 minutes in front of the stage. Once we had recovered sufficiently, Beej, Cole & I trundled downtown & set up shop at the Side Bar. This was my second mistake of the night. The rest of our volunteering pals much more sensibly did not join us for a drink & instead we met up with them for some poutine before the film. Killed some time hanging out in the lobby with everyone & consumed my second energy drink just before the movie started. Beej was feeling tired & oogy & had to work the next day, so he decided to skip the movie and go home to sleep. What can I say about The Thing? I love it (despite having only seen it for the first time recently, I know, I know...) & seeing it on the big screen was a real treat. The print was also in great condition (probably because it was a collector's print). Wilford Brimley is so creepy & I will always be impressed by Rob Bottin's special effects. Since no one else was in a mood to party, Alex & I split a cab & I spent the rest of the night/morning alternating between working and sleeping in one hour stretches.


Saturday Oct 29/05
Managed to get some work done, despite really feeling the effects of the last three days. My stomach had been transformed into a churching pit of acid & I'm pretty sure I shit out my stomach lining shortly after breakfast. Managed to haul my ass to the Crowne Plaza for a panel discussion Kier-la had organized on Canadian Horror: The Tax Shelter Years. For the middle of the afternoon on a Saturday, it was pretty well attended, although that wasn't that surprising considering the speakers included Bob Clark (Black Christmas, Porky's) & Tom Drake (Terror Train, The Keeper) and was moderated by Caelum Vatnsdal, author of "They Came from Within: A History of Canadian Horror Cinema" which had served as the inspiration for the discussion. Got Bob Clark to sign my copy of the book & spent some time after the discussion chatting with Caeleum who encouraged me to write a book on Maple Syrup Porn after I confessed my interest in the Tax Shelter Years and my ill-fated grad school application. Also spent some time chatting with Tom Drake & his wife who are both very lovely & apparently live in our neighborhood. Later, caught up with Wiley and his friend Sharon for some sushi before scooting back to the Cinemaheque to begin my vounteering shift. Although I hadn't really planned on it, I ended up taking in most of Casuistry, a documentary about Jesse Power, Anthony Wennekers and Matthew Kraczorowski, the three men who filmed themselves killing a cat and called it "art". Although not that great a film in and of itself, it was nice see someone attempt a balanced examination of the events, & it was somehow comforting to hear Mr. Power admit that they had essentially failed in what they had attempted & that he accepted his punishment willingly. Also, watching the two Gallerinas who had jumped to Power's defense (despite not being asked) share a single Guiness (in those small glasses you get from Ikea no less) over the course of their interview was hillarious. Next on the schedule was Night of the Living Dorks, a horror comedy that comes off kind of like an odd German version of American Pie, but with zombies. A huge hit on the festival circuit (Cinemuerte included), I recomend it only if you're cool with really goofy humour as it was a little light on gore for my taste. However, I do have to admit that I laughed quite a bit, especially when the Goths talk about resurrecting Kurt Cobain so that he can be their own personal troubador. After that, it was time for the Exploitation All Nighter & my cue to jump back behind the ticket counter. Ended up skipping out on Class of 1984 so I could sell tickets, a move I kind of regret, but honestly, how many movies can a girl watch in 6 days? Snuck back in for Creep, a laughably sub-par (sorry Kier-la) slasher with an absolutely brain numbingly bad performance by Franka Potente. In fact, I was so underwhelmed that I slept through most of the film. Luckily my nap perked me up enough that I could get into Vice Squad, and although not as good as the trailer, it was again a treat to be see it on the big screen. Wings Hauser is amazing, and he did the themesong! After that, it was time for the all you can eat cereal breakfast, but after two bowls of sugary goodness, Beej & I decided to concede defeat and skip out on Don't be Afraid of the Dark so that we could go home & get some much needed sleep.

Sunday Oct 30/05

And a good thing that was too, since we had to get our place in shape for our "celebrity house guest". Since Beej had to volunteer, Wiley (who is awesome by the way) & I hung out and watched our newly acquired DVD of School of the Holy Beast, since he had missed it on Thursday. Sadly, this also meant that we missed the Canadian film Sigma, which I had been looking forward to. Oh well, hopefully there'll be a DVD release soon. Feeling some guilt over this, we headed down to the theatre just in time for The Birthday, a film I had originally intended on skipping. Boy am I glad I didn't. The singular vision of Spanish wonderkind, Eugenio Mira, any attempts to accurately describe the film will fail miserably. Let's just say that Corey Feldman gives the performance of his life (by channeling Jerry Lewis no less), it involves an apocalyptic conspiracy, and Eurotrash superstarJack Taylor is in it! We were even more impressed when we found out that Eugenio had composed the excellent score to the film himself!
Decided to skip Malefique so that we could hang out with Jack Taylor and Eugenio, although Beej described it as one of the best depictions of black magic on film. Met up with everybody at Two Parrots for more beer & fried food & then shuffled home so that we could make Wiley watch Dangerous Seductress, which although not as uniformly great as Lady Terminator, the first 20 minutes rival those of any film made before or since.

Monday Oct 31/05

Started the day with breakfast at the Dutch Wooden Shoe with Wiley, Kier-la, Eugenio & Danielle, then went back to Danielle's place to hang out for a bit. While there, Eugenio insisted we all take part in crafting a new "masterpiece" with him, something that involved me smearing his face with BBQ sauce & starring with a confused look on my face. After that was done, went back to the house to have a nap, but I was informed at 6pm that I was supposed to volunteering. Whoops. Ditched my planned costume recycling & threw on a pair of cat ears before cabbing back to the Cinemateque. Managed to get in one more drink before Trouble, which could be described as even more disturbing French take on Dead Ringers with a twist as surprising as Haute Tension, only this time manages to work with the film & not just piss everyone off. Also, Benoit Magimel is super dreamy. A little slow moving, and very stereotypically "French" (much more so than Calvaire), the twist really does make the movie & it seemed an appropriate way to cap off a great year for the festival. Then, a caravan of cabs was arranged to take us to the karaoke after-party in Uranus (tee hee). It was an absolute blast. Wiley did a surprisingly competent rendition of "Don't You Forget About Me", Kier-la shocked everyone with a sweet & beautiful take on the Carpenters & Eugenio preformed his signature "Lady in Red". I managed to warble my way through a couple of duets with Kelly & what I believe to be a kick-ass version of "I Think We're Alone Now". Once they kicked us out of Uraus (snicker), we shuffled over to Kelly's for the after-after-party which Beej & I had to leave after 10 minutes as I had to attend a recording session the next day and had already been given a pep talk on being "competent".

A huge, huge thank you to all of our friends, old and new. I hope you had as much fun as we did and for God's sake, let's keep in touch! Although it's all a little bittersweet since this was the last year for Cinemuerte, you never know what's around the corner...

The Uwe Boll Experiment

First of all: don't worry. I will be getting to my Cinemuerte recap. Very soon.

However, until such time as that happens, I wanted to briefly detail last night's happenings. See, as a film critic I feel it is important to expose myself to as many different kinds of film as possible, regardless of who made it. And being that he seems to be everybody's favourite whipping boy (although www.uweboll.com is no longer active), we figured it wouldn't really be fair to rip into him without actually having seen any of his movies. And so a double bill was arranged, although we decided to do it on a Saturday so that we could properly drink ourselves into oblivion, just in case it was as bad as we had feared.

And the verdict?



Let's just say that we polished off 3 of the 5 bottles of basement wine Owen brought with him & a good deal of his armpit flavoured moonshine. Not to mention the 2 glasses of cheap white I had consumed before anyone got there. Also, Uwe Boll is my hero.

I didn't know when we started that "House of the Dead" & "Alone in the Dark" had both been filmed in BC, which should have been a tip-off right there. In some ways I think we all preferred "House of the Dead" if only because it had boobies. And mossmen. And pirate skeletons. And Jay Brazeau as a Conquistador Captain. And an Asian girl named "Liberty" in an American flag jumpsuit . And zombie wipes. Actually, our drinking game for "House of the Dead" involved drinking every time there was a zombie wipe, which nearly killed Will & me during the climactic fight scene. And let's not short change the amazing pan-arounds where the weapons in the close-up have nothing to do with the weapons the characters are actually holding. And even the opening line was amazing: "It was a nightmare. So many dead people. So many victims. I all started a few days ago when I came here for a rave." A rave! On an Island in the Pacific Northwest! With Bif Naked as the DJ! Seriously, I could go on and on.

After we determined that everyone had survived, I decided to put on the special features which were nearly as amazing as the movie. First off was the "Babes of House of the Dead" feature where they took the jiggle actresses they'd roped into being in the movie & set them loose on a painball range with a bunch of doofuses in zombie make-up (no protective gear at all). And it ends with them in a hot-tub! Then we put on a bit of the commentary since I'd read online that it was hysterical & Uwe Boll was described as "a clueless, retarded Verhoeven". Pretty much hit the nail on the head with that one. We will likely be programming the commentary for "House of the Dead" later on. Maybe with "Total Recall"...



"Alone in the Dark", although funnier if only for the amazing casting, wasn't nearly as "great" as "House of the Dead", but it did have Tara Read and that's something. Sure it had a budget (sort of), but where were the boobies! Or the ridiculous back story? I could not tell you for my life what the fuck happened in this movie. Most of the film's running time was spent laughing, crawling on the floor to get more booze & trying to determine exactly when Christian Slater had jumped the shark. I mean, he was in "Heathers" for God's sake! "Heathers"!!

Once that was over with we decided to watch a bit of the special features on the DVD, which although not as fan-boy awesome, did provide footage of the "writer", Elan Mastai (who actually used to be a programer at the VIFF), talking about why videogames make good source material.


In summary, let's just say that I'm going to be first in line at "Bloodrayne". I'll keep the flask warm if you meet me there.

Subscribe to Filmgurlland!

Sorry I haven't gotten the Cinemuerte post up yet. Stupid anime.

However, I did manage to add an RSS feed to my site.

Now you'll know the very instant I get off my ass to write something.

Yeah!

Two of the Best Weeks of My Life: Part 1

And so begins the first of two ridiculously long posts. They should explain where I've been lately. I had hoped to be able to post while in L.A., but it was $12.95US (!) a connection in our hotel, so here we go. There are more pics available on Flickr, although I won't have them all up for a little while yet.

Sunday, Oct 16/05


Fairly uneventful. Our plane was half an hour late due to high winds. Instead of paying $17 a piece to take the shuttle to our hotel, we opted to take advantage of the Metro L.A. transit system. A move I blame entirely on BJ. Especially since he was the one looking at me with terror in his eyes as the bus dumped us in the lower east side of downtown L.A., 6 blocks from our hotel. Even the weirdos taking the bus with us were surprised we were getting off there and seemed to want to take care of us since we obviously had no idea what we were doing. Had a totally bland meal at the hotel restaurant, which was made manageable by our waitress, this totally adorable middle-aged Latino women who kinda reminds you of that aunt who owns a restaurant. BJ finally made peace with the fact that a) he has foodie tendencies, and b) Vancouver has some of the best dining in the world. Meaning that no matter what kind of food you'’re into and how much you want to spend, you can find an awesome meal almost anywhere. Rain & thunder showers all night long.

Monday, Oct 17/05


Since our only plans were in the evening we decided to take it easy and just take the subway into Hollywood to poke around. Found the IHOP down the block the night before & I made the mistake of having the biscuit & gravy breakfast. It continued to rain off and on all day, with a nasty downpour in the afternoon that soaked my jeans up to the backs of my knees and forced us into a record shop where BJ found the "“Dr. Detroit"” soundtrack (by DEVO) & a Joy Division pin. Most of our time was spent at Amoeba records, a gigantic independent record, CD & DVD paradise. BJ was able to limit himself to a Neil Hamburger LP, the Jonathan Glazer work of director DVD, "Oldboy" (sans dual language packaging), "“School of the Holy Beast" & the "“Out of Sight"” soundtrack on CD. I, on the other hand, picked up the "Spaced" DVD set (Region 2, guess we have to get a new DVD player), a new "New Order" DVD set (collected videos & "The New Order Story", the Joy Division Preston picture disc & another Joy Division EP that I'’d never seen before & a Woody Allen comedy CD. After all that, we popped over to the Arclight where the Film Threat genre fest was supposed to happen. We were going to see "“Curse of the Wererabbit"” in the Cinerama Dome, but because of their strict no late-comers policy we were not allowed to buy tickets a mere ½ hour before the show. So, we poked around their gift shop where BJ found a great (new) Taschen book on Paul Verhoeven & then ate at the bar/lounge, where I had yet another super bland meal. After that we decided to look around Hollywood & Vine a little more (which is where we got caught in the nasty downpour), but we did also find an awesome little vintage clothing store called Iguana. Ok, little is the wrong word; itÂ’s probably the largest vintage clothing store in North America & the quality & prices were reasonable. I was able to pick-up another Hawaiian dress to add to my collection & Beej got some much needed shirts, as well as a new skinny tie & a black & red stripped tie that I wore that night to go see the Director'’s Cut of Land of the Dead in Alhambra. Got back to the hotel & finally got a hold of Eric Campos who was muchly impressed with our transit adventures. We made tentative plans to hook up Friday during the movie since neither of us were that interested in seeing it. It took us about 45 min to get out to Alhambra on the bus & I at least was happy when we got there because a) there are street lights in Alhambra, b) I found all the Asians & c) we got to eat at a place called “Panda Express". Unfortunately, "Land of the Dead" in the theatre wasn'’t exactly the horror fan explosion I was expecting. There were less than 50 people in the theatre (I counted) & it was a DVD projection, not a 35 mm print like I'd expected. As for the film, I enjoyed the story, and watching Denis Hopper give a performance somewhere in between James Caan phoning it in and super method (be sure to check out the part where he picks his nose, and I mean "picks his nose"), but it's easily my least favourite of the Romero zombie films. However, the tone & style of "Land of the Dead" is so different than the others that it's almost impossible to compare them. I'd describe it more as a fun adventure movie with zombies in it, rather than as a "Dead" movie.

Tuesday, Oct 18/05


Got up to a much later start than I'd expected, due in part to the fact that yet again my body woke me up at 6am for no good reason. This also meant that we were late getting me food & caffeine, which meant that I was sniping at BJ most of the way to Universal Studios. Finally got to Universal around 12pm & spent about an hour tooling around the City Walk. Spent far more time & money at Hot Topic than I'’d care to admit. BJ got a cute boys holding hands t-shirt. I got a Batman T & a Friday the 13th T & a cute blouse. And I went back later and got a jacket. By the time we actually got into the park, I really needed to eat again, but there was nearby was burgers and pizza. I opted for a cheese pizza, but only ate ¾ of it and felt pretty ill. Oh, and it was cold & cloudy & threatening to rain again. First thing we did was the "Van Helsing Dracula's Castle" walk through maze which incorporated actual set pieces, which was kind of cool. However, we were also able to establish that I am still petrified of the dark, especially when I'm expecting people in scary costumes to jump out at me, which they did. Meaning, our planned excursion to Knotts Scary Farm would have to be scrapped, since the stupid Dracula thing had me shaking for about ½ an hour afterwards. I'm a pussy. Other than that, things were pretty underwhelming & it actually got really cold. Mummy ride was pretty cool, if really short, but I think that was just because I haven't been on a rollercoaster in a long time & I really like roller coasters.
Also went on the Jurassic Park ride, and despite my stating before we got on that we weren't going to sit in the front, I ended up right in the front on the right hand side, where most of the water comes down. This led to some amusing incidents wherein an elderly woman grabbed me to show her traveling companions how wet I was, and a different elderly lady was treated to me bending over with my ass in the air underneath a hand dryer in an attempt to unsoggefy my undies and make my ass less clammy. But I did get a cute Spiderman T-shirt & a black stuffed kitty I call Darby. We decided to eat on the City Walk since we'd bought tickets to "Wolf Creek" which was playing as part of Screamfest at the City Walk theatre. Ended up at a seafood place which turned out to be our best idea all day. My body was ecstatic at being able to actually absorb nutrients. Also decided to buy some new socks at the sock hut. They're fuzzy, black & orange and go right over my knees. Again, another brilliant idea. When we got to the theatre, rather predictably they were running about 20 min behind, which was okay because I got to chat up one of the festival volunteers & I managed to spot David E. Allen (producer of "“Dog Soldiers") who I'd met at Cinemuerte a couple of years ago. I passed him my card & he promised to send us a copy of his latest movie, called "“Boo" which had screened on Monday. As for "Wolf Creek", I'm hesitant to hype it up too much because unlike some other recent foreign horror films ("Haute Tension" I'm looking at you), this one may just live up to it. It's beautifully shot (no, really), with characters you can actually care about & excellent pacing. Also, it's scary as hell. Well, more acurately it's as stressful as hell. My hands actually cramped up from clutching my fists so tight. All in all, a very impressive feature debut. Despite not having really planned on attending more Screamfest screenings, I think we'’ll try to make the Canadian zombie movie on Thursday & the Friday the 13th Anniversary screening on Friday.



Wednesday, Oct 19/05


Having actually gotten some vitamins the night before, I felt much better, despite my sore throat having developed into a snotty nose & a bit of a cough. The only thing on the itinerary was the Dearly Departed Tour which was worth every penny. Even chatted up the owner/driver guy Scott afterwards & complemented his "Freaks" pinhead tattoo. Also got to tool around Hollywood Blvd for a bit & check out the local wildlife. Then we had to get back downtown to pick up our rental car & hightale it to Anaheim. Got crappy Chinese takeout at the motel, drove to Buena Park to buy BJ new skateshoes, then went to the Krikorian Metroplex where there wasn't a single thing we wanted to see playing in any of the 18 theatres. Realized I was crazy tired, went back to the motel & decided to crash since we were doing Disneyland the next day!!!

Tursday, Oct 20/05



Got up nice & early having actually gotten some sleep the night before & got out to Disneyland pretty much at opening time. Since the weather was really nice (hottest day we had the whole time we were down there), it was pretty busy, but we were able to plan our riding times well enough that we didn'’t have to wait that long for most things. Probably the longest waits were for "Space Mountain", which we got out of the way as soon as we got there (not quite as cool as I remember it since it was my first rollercoaster back in the day) & "Splash Mountain" which was really fun. Totally lucked out with that one since some chick ran up to us when we entered the line & gave us their Fast Track tickets for the ride, but the window had ended an hour earlier, so we just assumed they were expired and stayed in the line. After half an hour in the line we got to a Disney employee who informed us that we could in fact still use the Fast Track passes, so we jumped the queue & still had to wait a good 20 -– 30 min, but it was still way better than if we'd stayed in the other line. Overheard one of the Asian kids ahead of us say something about "only Canadians say that," to which I had to interject that we were Canadian & it turns out they were Canadian as well, and so was the family behind them. In fact the Asian kids were from Vancouver & had decided to use the teacher'’s strike as an excuse to go to Disneyland. Also spent a good deal of time taking pictures of the "“Nightmare Before Christmas"” themed Haunted Mansion. Tried to take the "dirty" picture of Walt & Mickey that'd we'd both heard about, but I don't really think it turned out:
Managed to stay until closing, which meant that we missed the Canadian zombie movie at "Screamfest"”, then decided to eat yet another whatever meal in Downtown Disney before getting back to our car to drive back to L.A. Managed to find a free parking spot right across from our hotel, (well, free until 8am) and crashed like we'’ve never crashed before.

Friday, Oct 21/05


Realizing that our burning it at both ends was starting to take its toll, we decided to sleep in & just spend some time bumming around Hollywood & Highland. Got a tattoo on the back of my neck @ California Tattoo by a guy named 7. Went to the Erotic Museum, which was actually pretty cool, although much smaller than I expected. Confused the girl at the door with our Canadian IDs & managed to get the student discount. Also got to the Hollywood Museum in the Max Factor building which had tons of really cool old costumes & set pieces, including Roddy McdowallÂ’s bathroom, an entire cellblock from "“Red Dragon", a huge homage to Greta Garbo & the bike from "“Pee Wee'’s Big Adventure" (sadly it is kept under glass & we were not able to ride it around the museum). After that, we skidaddled back to the Arclight to buy tickets for "Goodnight & Goodluck". On our way to the theatre, BJ turned to me and said "Am I being racist, or is that Paul Mooney?" gesturing to the two African-American men chatting on the corner. And turned to look, and sure enough, there was Paul Mooney, which was nice since it was our only celebrity spotting & it was someone we kind of cared about. Apparently Beej had originally spotted him due to his "celebrity red" shoes. We then killed some more time in Amoeba & ate some descent sushi. Watched "Goodnight" in our reserved seats (the Arclight is so cool!) which I really enjoyed, especially since I am a fan of George Clooney as a director. It was beautifully shot, featured great performances (David Strathairn is predictably awesome) and still managed to tell the story in such a way that even though the events exist in the historical record, it was compelling, human & inspiring. Did not make it to "Friday the 13th". After the show we finally caught up with Eric Campos, which was really cool. He's a great guy & seemed quite relieved that Beej & I weren't total freaks. Got drinks at Beauty Bar, which is this cool little bar done up like a beauty salon that plays 80's music where you can get martinis & manicures on Thursdays for $10. Once it got too crowded there, we were going to go to The Burgundy Room across the street, but they were even more crowded, so we ended up at this sketchy little, near deserted gay bar where they had to get someone to unlock the lady's bathroom every time I had to use it. Finally had to leave when Eric got cornered in the men's room by some crazy man who kept going on about "“the new world order". Cabbed it back to the hotel & crashed again like people have not crashed before.

Saturday, Oct 22/05


Another late start. Took the subway to Hollywood & Highland to buy a frame for BJ's dad & Penny as a thank you gift & decided that a photo with the old man dressed as Gandalf the Grey would be our least sketchy option for Grauman's freaks photos (naked Spiderman in his pyjamas is still giving me nightmares). Took a bus up to Melrose so that I could do some clothes shopping & we could check out the comic shop that David Allen had recommended. Managed to find some really pretty clothes & was amazed at how reasonable the prices were. Finally made it to Golden Apple where I picked up a couple things (History of Violence & a book on Japanese cult films) & vol 3 of the Manga for the new show I just got offered. Had a good laugh when we spotted the "Dog Soldiers" & "Boo” posters at the back of the store. Got out just in time to find somewhere to eat (descent Italian, although what is it with putting cheese on fucking everything down here?!) before we had to bus back up to the Arclight to catch "X,Y". BJ was totally prepared to hate the movie, but his interest & appreciation grew as the film grew in sadistic strangeness. It's kind of hard movie to describe, but if you appreciate a good head fuck, & can get passed non-existent budgets, I totally recommend it. Since Campos had already taken off by the time the film was finished, we decided to just grab some water & take the subway back to the hotel.

Sunday, Oct 23/05


Our last full day in L.A. Went down to Sunset to paruse yet another comic book store, but Lord, was it worth the trip. If you are ever in L.A. and like comic books, or toys, or even Asian DVDs; go to Meltdown Comics. The place is like Nerd Mecca. Picked up Queen Bee (new Chynna Clugston for Scholastic of all people), issue #1 of Shadowplay (horror comic with a story by Amber Benson), Sea of Red & Vol. 2 of the Manga for my new show. Meltdown is also now the permanent home of Drunken Master DVDs which some of you may know from the convention circuit, so we bit the bullet & snagged the Battle Royale Region 0 boxset. After that we trundled down to The Grove/Farmer's Market to see "Kiss, Kiss, Bang, Bang". Wandered around a bit before the film and managed 4 "celebrity" sightings in 10 mins. Started off unremarkably enough with Guillermo Diaz hanging with a couple of friends outside of the theatre. Then, as we were leaving after purchasing our tickets I spotted Danny Strong (Jonathan from "Buffy"), who is an adorable little tiny man who was very cute in his itty-bitty tiny blue track pants (it's not often that I get the urge to pick-up a guy & squeeze him to death like the adorable little doll-man he is). Then, spotted Danny Masterson, but that wasn't a surprise since Defamer makes it sound like he lives there. However, the highlight of the day didn't happen until I wandered in to Anthropologie, despite knowing I wouldn't be able to afford anything there (not entirely true, I found a shirt on sale & a hairband). As I brought my meagre purchases up to the till I was able to spot Kirstie freakin' Alley looking very cranky on a couch while a girl I have to assume was her assistant waited at the till with about a billion packages. Obviously they'd been there a long time & I don't blame her for looking pissed off since the sales girl seemed to have run off again. Other than cranky, she looked really good. Nicely made-up with great hair. After that we had to rush back to the theatre for our movie which I really enjoyed. I mean, I'd only recently discovered Shane Black, but I have developed a taste for his work & I appreciated the tempering effect time has had on his rougher misogynistic tendancies. Very funny, Robert Downie Jr. was great & seeing it in L.A. was a special treat (basically, what you need to know is it's a buddy action movie set in L.A. @ Christmas). After that we had to rush back to the Arclight to catch up with Eric Campos & watch the shorts program he put together. After the shorts we returned to that weird little gay bar for our final drinks in Hollywood, which led to a hilarious story involving the only time BJ has had to introduce himself as Brian for his own safety. Shuffled off sometime around 1am & insisted that Campos come visit us whenever he's in Vancouver. Managed to barf in the 7/11 parking lot after 1 & 1/4 beers, got back to the hotel & slept it off.

Monday, Oct 24/05


Had to get up early-ish so that we could take the subway to the airport (slightly less sketchy than the bus, but also faster). Froze to death in the terminal while we waited for our plane which was, of course, 2 hours late. Slept most of the way back to Vancouver, got home & gave the cats a good squeeze like the nerds we are.

Hope I didn't bore y'all too much. Leave me questions & comments if you made it this far & stay tuned for Week 2: Cinemuerte which I'm hoping will be up by tomorrow.

~meeko