Bouchard-Taylor: Everybody Just Calm the F*%$k Down

Being an outsider in a province with arguably one of the most distinct cultures in Canada does give me a unique perspective on the culture and politics out here, and I've been mulling over how to address the Bouchard-Taylor Commission on Reasonable Accommodation since it started. And now that it has finally release it's report last week, I figured it was finally time for me to comment on it, although I'm opening a can of worms that will take several posts to properly cover.

While the whole circus Reasonable Accommodation had created certainly got everybody's panties in a knot, the final recommendations in the report were unsurprising to anyone with half a brain in their head (or at the very least a passing knowledge of the pedigree of its authors). "The foundations of collective life in Quebec are not in a critical situation," the authors wrote, which makes you wonder why the whole rigmarole got started in the first place. And the reasons are simultaneously complicated and simple.

The simple answer is of course Hérouxville, the municipality of 1,300 that in February of 2007 drafted a code of conduct for it's citizens that included, among other things, a ban against stoning women and the covering of their faces. A reactionary gesture, sure, but a reaction to what exactly? It wasn't as if Hérouxville had been the site of a recent influx of lady murdering Islamic extremists. In fact, the town apparent has exactly one immigrant family living withing it's limits, although the Wikipdeia article for Hérouxville maintains that they have none. It wants more-- needs more, if it is going to survive as a community, they just wanted to make sure they got the "right kind". Which of course sounds like code for "French, Catholic and White", which it could be, even if they don't realize it. Political correctness hasn't taken hold in Quebec the same way it has in other parts of Canada, and I've witnessed surprising casual racism from people I consider educated and aware.

It would be easy to label the whole Hérouxville incident as the result of uneducated, small town, small minded thinking. Except that it hit a nerve. The media went crazy. And the politicians jumped on a bandwagon that seemed to be gathering steam. The right leaning nationalist party, the ADQ, won some startling victories in the March 2007 provincial election to become the official opposition, fueled by populist anger at what they saw as the PQ's failure to protect Quebecois values.

Then, in fall of 2007, in Parti Quebequois leader Pauline Marois finally threw her hat into the whole ugly mess, tabling an "identity" bill that would require new arrivals to the province to swear an oath of loyalty as well as pass French and citizenships tests. The joke of course is that this was the second attempt at a Quebequois constitution the PQ had tabled in less than 6 months. A desperate attempt to stay relevant after being lambasted for suggesting that sovereignty would be on the back burner of her party's agenda after being sworn in earlier that month? The likely answer is yes, especially considering that this is also when the Bouchard-Taylor commission really started to heat up.

See, despite two failed Sovereignty referendums, Sovereignty is still a hot-button issue in Quebec. My own neighborhood has dozens of apartments with Quebec flag placards in their front windows. But let's face it, whipping the people of Quebec into enough of a frenzy to risk winning another referendum would take some serious cash, cahones and charisma and there isn't a party in Quebec with enough of any of these to make a serious stab at it. And so Sovereignty gets traded in for its ugly cousin: Nationalism. And while Sovereignty and Nationalism can seem like the same thing (it's got the word "Nation" in it), Nationalism becomes dangerous because it hinges on that thorny idea of Identity. And Identity is what leads to "Us" versus "Them" and the blatant insecurity that leads to things like the Hérouxville code.

French Slang Sunday: Char

Char [n]: Short for "chariot", literally: carriage, wagon or truck. Used in France to describe a tank or chariot. In Quebec the shortened form is a slang term for car.

Weekend Round Up: My Saguenay Adventure

Friday: Went into work super early so that I could leave at 4:00 PM without dipping into my vacation time, which was hard because I was starting to come down with a sinus cold. Spent the day starring at my monitor in a fog, but still managed to get something done. At exactly 4 PM, I met L., Annie & Mel in the parking lot and we started our trip north.

It took about an hour to get off the island, and if we had waited even half an hour later it would have taken three times that long. Mel managed not to get into any road rage incidents with anyone, which was good and I prayed to St. Christopher as I do anytime I get into a car with someone in Quebec. Not that I've converted or anything, it's just that scary.

After a quick supper at a St-Hubert Express in Trois Rivieres it was back onto the road. Sadly it was too dark for me to enjoy the view on the treacherous Parc, and it had started snowing, but the trip was pretty uneventful. We got to Annie's parents' (L.'s taunt Denise and oncle Evans) place around 10:30 PM and we hung out in the kitchen talking and looking at Annie's sister Jasmine's pictures of South American beetles.

At around midnight we bid our farewells and Evans gave us a lift to L.'s cousin Valerie's charming little trailer home where we would be spending the night as Valerie was actually in Montreal for the weekend at a dance conference. Again, Saguenay hospitality was offered in spades and L. noted that a boy cousin probably wouldn't have thought to leave out towels for us.

Saturday: After a restful night we called L.'s step-dad Yves who was also in town for L.'s cousin Dave's anniversary memorial (the real reason for our trip) who picked us up so we could all have breakfast together.

Being that it was nearly noon, finding a place for breakfast was a bit of a struggle, but we did manage to find somewhere that was still serving. There was some minor drama regarding the coffee and I thoroughly confused the waitress by asking for black tea (I got Earl Grey and an apology).

After breakfast we toured around the Saguenay at bit on our way to the fromagerie Boivin (cheese factory?).





The Saguenay is a very interesting and beautiful city, that is actually three cities merged together: Chicoutimi, Jonquière and La Baie. L. had lived in all three areas at various times, and the cities that make up Ville de Saguenay were actually made up of smaller cities and towns. It is actually a Fjord but is mostly agricultural, with rolling hills and fields. The main industry is still Alcan, one of the first to settle in the area. We actually found out recently that my uncle Martin (my mom's sister's husband) had done co-op work for Alcan while in college in Arvida, now part of Jonquière.

Unfortunately the weather was a bit inclement and it started snowing again. We drove around taking photographs and L. bought a bag of warm, fresh, squeeky cheese curds. That's right, squeeky. That's how you can tell they're fresh. In joual, the sound they make is "skouik, skouik".

Around 3 PM we arrived at L.'s dad's place in Jonquière. It's a beautiful Victorian era apartment, originally built by Alcan when they opened their first facility. It even has a dining room! Yves hung out a bit with us all and L. got to play with Nicole's dog Noisette.

Later, Nicole's daughter Katherine showed up with a giant tourtière, the official meal of the Saguenay. L. had two helpings and we saved him some for breakfast. After dinner we all sat down to watch the Canadiens game, when L.'s half brother John and his mother, Florence, came by for a visit. It was a very nice surprise as it had been a couple years since L. had last seen John and we had a very good conversation about video games and film. It turns out that John had been interested in pursuing a career as a game designer, but stumbled into starting a degree in art instead.

It was a little overwhelming for me to meet so much of L.'s family all at once, but most people I had met before and everyone was so welcoming and genuinely nice that it was really a pleasure. Everyone seemed very excited to meet me, and L. boasted that I was the reason he had decided to move back to Quebec.

Sunday: Went to my first Catholic mass. Ever. It was actually less scary than I expected, due mostly to the engaging young priest with a goatee and skate shoes under his robes. After mass we went for a brunch buffet with the rest of the friends and family, where L. had (believe it or not) more tourtière. I met more of L.'s family and he and his cousin Caroline talked about how somebody from their side of the family better start having babies soon.

After brunch we visited with L.'s tant Reine and oncle Arthur while Yves gathered his stuff as he had been staying with them for the weekend. Arthur taught us about L.'s ancestor's (apparently the Malthais side of the family is originally from the Isle of Malta) and Reine asked if my parents spoke French at home, probably the best compliment I've ever received.

Then it was off to Ste-Foy (next door to Quebec city) with Yves so we could catch a bus back to Montreal. Luckily we were able to catch an express bus and made it back in time to catch the third period of the game.

French Slang Saturdays: Joual

Hey kids,

No video this week as L. and I are in the Saguenay visiting L's family.

However, I figured I'd throw up a few links about joual [n] [prounouced: zwahl], the working class dialect of Quebecois French. The word itself comes from the French word for horse, cheval as in pronouncing it in one syllable. It is also important to note that because joual is chiefly a spoken dialect, spelling variations for joual words are common.

From the Canadian Encyclopedia.

Joual Vert - The unofficial dictionary of Quebecois French.

A CBC files about Michel Tremblay and his landmark play Les Belles-soeurs, which was the first internationally recognized play written in joual.

French Slang Saturdays: Tanner & Tannant

Sorry it's a day late, but it's a two for one to make up for the tardiness.

Tanner [v]: Annoyed, fed-up. Implies a certain amount of resignment of the part of the speaker. Conjugated in the usual fashion.

Tannant [adj]: To be annoying.

We Did It!

With news that temperatures in Montreal hit 12 degrees Celsius today, and that we'll be breaking 10 degrees again later this week, I think it is fair to officially declare our victory over winter. I didn't even have to wear long-johns this morning.

I was close to giving up hope, but given the sheer viciousness of the weather this year I think we survived our first Eastern Canadian winter pretty well.

Now we can look forward to building a vegetable garden, getting a BBQ, drinking sangria on patios, the Jazz Fest, Fantasia, visitors from Vancouver...

But first we'll need to clean up all the garbage that got trapped between the layers of now melting snow:
Eww.

French Slang Saturdays: Ben

Today's slang word is a good multi-purpose word and adopting it's usage is one of the fastest ways to sound like a native Quebequer.

Ben [adj]: Literally: very. Can be used literally, at the beginning of a sentence or as a pause the same way as "well..." or to add emphasis.

This one might take longer to load because it is a bit longer than the previous videos, but that's because there are so many ways to use the word. I've also upped the production values a bit with the introduction of titles and transitions (oooh, impresive!)

Microbrasseries & Brew Pubs I Have Been To

In an attempt to refine L.'s pallet in preparation for The Great Home Brew Adventure, Alain has been dragging us all over Montreal to experience some of the many Microbraseries and Brew Pubs. People in Quebec take their native beers very seriously, and they should given the consistently high quality on offer. Below is a list of the establishments we have visited so far with mini-reviews and my favourite brews when applicable.

1) Dieu Du Ciel
Alain's favourite and everyone else's considering the place is jam-packed every time we've tried to go. They have a rotating selection of uniformly delicious beers, including a coffee stout called Peche Mortel (Mortal Sin) and everything else from Scotch Ales, to Porters, to Barley Wine to European varieties you've never heard of. Worth the effort to get a table, you can also find their brews in certain specialty shops (like our favourite Delires Du Terroir). Added bonus: the nachos are insanely good, more like fresh bruchetta on top of chips topped with broiled Quebec cheese. Nom nom!

2) L'amère à boire
Where we end up most often due to it's proximity to the Cartier Latin and Scotiabank Theatres. Also featuring a rotating selection of beers & an upstairs and downstairs bar (more selection downstairs). My current fav is the Odense Porter, although I'll settle for Drak when it's not available. The Odense Porter is very rich with a caramel top note and a smoky full body. The Drak tastes kinda like warm honey toast and has a satisfying, dry finish. The Imperial Stout is also very tasty, but a little dangerous at 7.5%. They also serve food of the upscale tapas variety, and while not cheap it is super delicious. I highly recommend the Kielbasa & Portobello Salad for
$6.

3) Saint-Bock
Just a couple doors down from L'amère à boire, Saint-Bock is similar to Vices & Versa in that they sell all sorts of different beers, not just ones produced on site. They also have one of the most comprehensive menus of any of the microbrasseries we've been to, even if they didn't have any deserts available when we were there. The selection is revolving with about 20 different beers to choose from on any given day. I decided to be adventurous and tried a carrot beer, which would normally be lighter than I prefer, but really hit the spot with just a hint of spice. I followed that up with an Omega 3 Brown Ale made with roasted flax seed that was also not too heavy, but with a full, nutty/roasted flavour. They also have giant TV screens if you wanna catch a game.

4) Sergeant Recruiter
Located in the Plateau, its proximity to Dieu Du Ciel makes it a good back-up if we can't get a table. My favourite so far is the Nessy Scotch Ale, which is rich but not heavy and very drinkable. They also do wood fired pizza's which are very yummy and made with local ingredients and they have a sister store (Saum Mom) next door specializing in smoked salmon (& gravalox etc.) And, on Sundays they have French raconteurs (story tellers)!

5) Vices & Versa
Not a brewpub per se, this bistro style bar does carry a couple exclusive brews which is enough for me to include it. Located across the park from us, it is also usually packed beyond belief. The rotating selection again means it can be hit and miss, but the staff is more than happy to help out and you usually have upwards of 15 brews to choose from. And the nachos are tasty and full of olives. They also boast a lunch menu and wireless internet access.

6) Benelux
Cafe by day, pub by night, one of the definite highlights is the back room built into the vault of this converted bank. A good place to catch a game, their American Brown Ale was a little hoppy for me, but I'm dying to try their 9% Russian Imperial Stout. They also offer cheese and olive plates as well as European sausages.

7) Brutopia
Often crowded and loud due to bands playing. First time I went I got the Nut Brown Ale which sounds good, but is actually pretty disappointing. The seasonal offerings like the Maple Stout are much safer options and I have it on good authority that their Honey Beer is tasty and refreshing. They stop serving food at 11 PM, and it's of the very greasy pub-food variety. That said, it's probably the only place on Crescent I can see myself going to.

8) 3 Brasseurs
Like the McDonald's of microbrasseries, this chain is especially popular with tourists and frat boys. Only been in once and after waiting 20 minutes for someone to take a drink order that never arrived, we opted to leave and never come back. Ever.

French Slang Saturdays: Capoter

Capoter [v]: Literally it means capsize, but in slang usage it means "to freak out". Can be used positively or negatively, to express elation or frustration. Conjugated in the usual fashion.

French Slang Saturdays: Plate

While my first post about Quebecois slang was neatly arranged around a single theme, I've found myself struggling with a good way to post about all the other Quebecois slang I've been absorbing that would a) make sense and b) not be insanely long. So, in an attempt to kill two birds with one stone I've opted to post one slang word per week. And I'm including video of me saying the word!

If there are words that you would like explore in a future post, please let me know in the comments, or send me an email.

This week's word:

Plate [adj]: Lame. Literally means "flat", but is used to describe anything boring or just generally sucky and undesirable.

I'm Ready When You Are Spring

Seriously.

Here I was thinking I was all butch, weathering my first East-Coast winter. Bragging that it was the worst one seen my Montreal in like 35 years.

But, I'm done. I concede defeat. I am tired of snow.

Here I was optimistically dreaming of pedicures and purchasing my first two-piece bathing suit... but, no. We got what is likely the biggest dump all winter this weekend. Most of the outlying areas have already blown their snow clearing budgets for 2008. It is highly likely that the same has now happened to Montreal.

My walk to work has now turned into an obstacle course of giant black lagoons and winding, icy pathways that bring to mind the routes taken by mountain goats in the rockies.




It almost makes a girl miss Vancouver. Almost.

Music in Quebec

In high school and University, I was admittedly something of an audiophile. Granted, not a very dedicated or knowledgeable one, but was on the mailing lists of a couple indie labels, I went to live shows (though not as often as I wanted to) and I listened fairly exclusively to non-mainstream radio. However, since leaving the dynamic atmosphere of school I have fallen sadly behind in my knowledge of current music. While never really ahead of the curve, I now resided in a musical time-warp that ended at about 1988. And while the occasional mix-CD passed by a friend has made sure I haven't become completely out of touch, I do deeply miss the excitement of discovery that keeping up with a music scene brought me. So, being that moving to Quebec was a way to reboot my life I've been trying to make more of an effort to get back into music. I wouldn't say that I've been completely successful, but having new friends with similar musical tastes at least seems like step in the right direction, and I've already made it to two shows, both on opposite sides of the Montreal musical spectrum.

In December we attended a Christmas benefit for a jam-space co-op founded by Michel Rivard of legendary Quebec folk/rock bank Beau Dommage. I must admit to not really knowing anything at all about pop music in Quebec, aside from Mitsou and Celine, but a steady stream of MusiMax during my three months of unemployment has at least given me something of a foundation. The highlights for the concert for me were teen girl favourites, 3 Gar Sul' Sofa (Three Guys on the Couch) a folk based pop-y trio with great humour and harmonies and Gilles Vigneault, the poet and sovereigntist who at the age of 79 lead the crowd in a rendition of Gens Du Pays, the unofficial anthem of Quebec and as I recently discovered, the Quebecois substitute for "Happy Birthday".

While L.'s musical tastes were undoubtedly coloured by a childhood of overproduced Quebec pop, my taste is Quebecois music tends towards either the folky-pop sensibilities of groups like the widely celebrated Tricot Machine to the distinctive electro/hip-hop sound of groups like Omnikrom. I've even added an embedded radio station to this blog so that you can listen to Q-pop while you read.

On the other end of the spectrum, we recently caught the CPC Gangbangs at the Theatre St-Catherines, a relatively new art/show space which is quickly gaining popularity among hip Anglos. It had been a long time since I'd been to a real indie-rock show, let alone a punk show and I had a blast despite a very sore neck for the next two days. L. was initially a little scared, he didn't gown up listening to punk music and was nervous about what to expect. However, the band's energetic performances and up-tempo set managed to win him over. I also found out that there is still a very active and impressive rockabilly scene in MTL, which I am dying to check out.

Quebequois Slang Part 1: Cursing

NSFW or children

Admittedly, having completed a large portion of my schooling as part of the French Immersion program (pre-school to first year university) has been a huge asset to me these past three months. I would also have to say that my accent and confidence have improved tremendously in the short time we have been here, and my ability to speak and understand French has made my life infinitely easier in every way, from finding a job to shopping for groceries.

However, because school is supposed to teach you how to do things properly, there were a number of essential words and terms that I had to pick up on the fly. I am referring of course to slang, and the Quebequois of course have their own very specific and unique terms for all kinds of things. In lieu of just listing every bit of seeming gibberish I've picked up since October, I've opted to split the topic into several posts, beginning with the most fun: swearing!

I had an interesting bar conversation with someone not too long ago about swearing, and specifically how a culture's curse words actually reveal a lot about the particular hang-ups of that culture. For example, in English, most curses have to do with sex or bodily functions (ex: Fuck, Shit...); while in Polish a lot of curses have to do with disease and illness, a hold over from the plague days. In war ravaged areas of Eastern Europe the curses are generally very convoluted and violent (an example along the lines of "skull fuck your mother through the eye with a dog penis" comes to mind). So, it should come as no surprise that the majority of Quebequois curses have to do with the Catholic church, specifically: deliberately mispronouncing the words for sacred things.

Below are some of the most popular Quebequois swear words along with explanations and examples of their use. Please note that some of these words have multiple spellings as the issue has more to do with the pronunciation.

Tabarnak: [tah-behr-nak] This one is a play on tabernacle (same in English & French) and is probably the grand-daddy of Quebequois curses. The usage is similar to that of "Fuck" in English, although it probably isn't quite as harsh. Variants include "tabarwhet" and "tabarmoush", which are basically the same as saying "fudge" or "fiddlesticks".

Ostie: [uh-stee] A play on ossuarie or ossuary. Generally used in the declarative, or as a preposition: "Ostie,que t'est con!" Not as bad as tabarnak, it can also be shortened to "'sti" as one would shorten "Goddamn" to "damn".

Calisse: [koh-lee-ss] This one comes from calice or chalice. One of my current favourites. It is very fun to say and immediately gets across how you feel.

This of course is just a sample, I do plan on posting lots more in the future as well as some less offensive slang. While not extensive, these words are more than enough to get you started, and you can of course combine them in a host of ways to come up with new curses as demonstrated by Tom Green in the clip below:

Roast Chicken Review: St-Hubert's

Please see part 1 of this series for the backstory and criteria.

In many ways this is the review that L. is dreading because St-Hubert's is his favourite restaurant ever and I am notoriously not that big a fan. I will go so far as to say that I do prefer dining in to take out and their coleslaw is pretty good.

Chicken: Skin was more chewy than crispy and very salty. The meat wasn't that dry, but very mealy -- a quality I detest in chicken. 6/10

Fries: Colder and greasier than I remember them. Must be a side effect of having had to wait an hour for the delivery guy. 4/10

Coleslaw: Warmer and soggier than the dine in variety which I quite enjoy. In fact, I generally do not like coleslaw, but their original vinegarette style is usually refreshing and delicious. I will give them the benefit of the doubt on this one because of the delivery delay. 7/10

Gravy: Thin, very salty and a little spicy. The spice would normally seal it for me, but the salt content kind of skeeves me out. 5/10

Biscuit: The St-Hubert's "biscuit" has always been a bit of a mystery to me. Tell me it doesn't look exactly like the bottom of a McDonald's bun that's been squished:


Barely edible, even with St-Hubert's Sauce. 2/10


Overall score: 24/50

First Storm of the Year

Looks like the weather's been playing havoc with everybody's life.

In other news, I bought a hat with ear flaps. It keeps me warm.

More Snow!

It's official. Vancouver is a city full of wimps. I actually get to experience a city that doesn't go into panic mode at the sight of the first snowflake. There are teams of trucks pushing the snow off the street all day long. The streets are full of people, on foot and in cars. Our neighbors even shoveled our walkway for us while they were out there, instead of just dumping their snow on our steps!

Roast Chicken Review: Coq au Bec (Part One of a Continuing Series)

First off, a little background:

Not long after I met L. he began extolling to me the virtues of a Quebequois institution known as St Hubert. It's a chain of restaurants specializing in roast chicken and ribs and doesn't really exist much outside of Quebec (although I understand there are a couple in Ontario, but that's about it). I had initially assumed that this obsession with roast chicken was just another one of L.'s quirks, a personal fetish nourished by happy childhood memories of meals out with his mom. But no. On our visit in July it quickly became apparent that this obsession was not unique to L. People in Quebec really like their roast chicken, often referred to as "Montreal style rotisserie chicken". It doesn't matter where you go in Montreal, you will be within walking distance of roast chicken. Even the shwarma places offer the option of half a roast chicken.

And so I decided that despite not really caring for roast chicken (too dry and mealy for my tastes) I would strive to rate the various roast chicken options as fodder for my blog. In order to make sure the comparisons are fair, only the traditional chicken breast dinner will be rated. In most cases, a dinner consists of five parts: the chicken, french-fries, gravy, a biscuit & coleslaw. Each part will be rated individually on a scale of one to ten, adding up to a total score out of 50.

First up is Coq au Bec

Chicken: Surprisingly moist and flavourful. Not too greasy. The skin was crisp, salty and spicy in just the right combination. Overall, kinda delicious. 8/10

Fries: A whole different story. Greasy, squishy and obviously fresh from the freezer. Could even have been imported potatoes (for shame!) Reminds me of the fries I ate at the ice-rink concession stand as a child. 4/10

Coleslaw: A little on the scary side. Basically just weak, hair-like strands of cabbage, with a sneezing of carrot thrown in for colour; floating in a sour vinegar marinade. 2/10

Gravy: Not too salty or too spicy. Good, thick consistency that sticks well to the fries. Easily the best part, next to the chicken. 8/10

Biscuit: Tasteless white roll. Cold, but edible with a bit of gravy. 3/10

Overall score: 25/50

Hobbies

Here in Quebec there is a concept known as "terroir". This is similar to the French concept of terroir which is used mostly when speaking of wine and is meant to refer to the geographic area where the wine was produced. Each terroir has certain innate qualities associated with it, which are thought to influence the resulting wine.

However, in Quebec the term is used a little more generally and with a lot more pride. "Les produits des terroirs" can describe anything that is produced locally and with local ingredients. There are "vins du terroir" (native wines), "bieres du terroir" (local micro or artisan brews), "fromages du terroir" (native cheeses) and even a genre of literature: "romans du terroir". Because many in Quebec see themselves as belonging to a distinct culture (and in some cases, a distinct country), such products are celebrated with a good deal of pride as they represent something uniquely quebecois.

It goes even further than that though, because "terroir" not only implies where something is produced, it can also be used to describe how it is produced. In many ways Quebec still sees itself as a land of humble farmers who live off the land and so "terroir" can also imply a sort of folky, home-made quality.

Which leads me to the subject of hobbies. Apparently, L. and I have both been inspired by the spirit of the land as we are both pursuing hobbies involving handcrafted food/drink stuffs. See, being that I am still mostly unemployed I have a lot of free time during the day, and being that we are pinching pennies, I have decided to start making my own bread. L., on the other hand, is taking inspiration from his friend Alain and is going to experiment with brewing his own beer.

So, because I've been meaning to bring my love of food to this blog for a while I have included my own recipe for Honey Wheat and Flax Bread:
1 Cup Soymilk (unsweetened)
1/2 Cup water
1 Heaping tablespoon active dry yeast (or 2 packets)
2 Tablespoons Olive Oil
1 Tablespoon honey (the darker the better)
1 Teaspoon salt
1/4 Cup Brown Flax Seeds
3 Cups Organic Whole Wheat Bread Flour + aprx 1/2 cup more

1. In a glass measuring cup, heat water & soymilk in the microwave for about 40 seconds until it is a little warmer than lukewarm. Be careful, if it is too hot it will kill the yeast.
2. Pour the liquid into a large mixing bowl and add the honey, olive oil, salt and yeast. Stir gently to combine everything and then let the bowl sit for about 10-20 minutes in a nice warm place (I like the top of the stove, especially if the oven is pre-heating).
3. Take the flax seeds and give them a quick whir in a blender. Reserve.
4. When the liquid in the bowl is covered by a think layer of yummy foam, give it a stir with a fork and add the flax seeds, then start adding flour, one cup at a time.
5. When the dough is too tough to stir with the fork, get your hands in there and keep adding flour by the handful until it will no longer stick to a clean finger.
6. Form the dough into a ball in the bowl, then cover the bowl with a hot, damp tea-towel and leave it somewhere warm. (Again, I like the stove).
7. After about an hour, the dough should be about double the size it was when you left it. Pre-heat the oven to 325 degrees Fahrenheit. Take the dough out of the bowl and knead it a couple of times on a lightly floured surface. Then, take a sharp knife and cut the dough into two equal portions.
8. Form both dough lumps into loaves by tucking everything under.
9. Lightly oil two bread pans, pop one loaf into each pan and let them sit on top of the stove for another 15 - 20 minutes.
10. toss the loaf pans in the oven for about 35-45 minutes.
11. The bread is ready when you can knock on the bottom of the loaf and you hear a hollow sound. Take the loaves out of the pans and cool them on a wire rack.
12. Enjoy with a liberal dollop of homemade jam.

Bad Timing?

A study released on Wednesday by the Quebec Community Groups Network doesn't really seem to bode that well for me. According to the study, Anglos in Montreal are a dying breed and they need to better work together to make sure their needs are met. An earlier version of the story which I can no longer locate online quoted unemployment for Anglo Montrealers at close to 10% (although the sample group referenced was only 400 people). They also say that many Anglos do not have access to English speaking health care professionals. Among other recommendations, including better cooperation between English school boards, they suggest that Anglo Montrealers try to brush up on their French.

As for why some Anglos are having trouble finding health care professionals, I found this report about a dentist in Quebec who speaks four languages, including English and French, who is being denied a permanent license because he failed a French written exam. Four times.

Ch-Ch-Ch-Changes

So, you've probably noticed that I haven't written on my blog in a long time. There are many reasons for this, time being one of them, lack of inspiration being another, and let's not forget the devastating blows my self-esteem have taken in the last couple of years. It's hard to say anything with conviction when you don't really want to get out of bed.

Well, in an effort to tackle at least two of these problems I decided to indulge another romantic fantasy, slightly less costly and not nearly as legally binding as my last one. In a mere 11 days, I am boarding a plane for Montreal. And it's a one way ticket.

I will have two companions along for the ride, my fabulous Quebecois beau, L, and my pretty (even the vet said so) male cat K.C. (a.k.a. Bitey). All we need to do is find me a job & all of us an apartment.

I have long fantasized about starting over, just ditching everything and going to a new city. You have to admit it's a fantastically romantic idea, and I am a true Pisces. Now I find myself on the brink of doing just that, and I have to admit, it's kinda terrifying. It's hard for me to expect sympathy for my fear. This was, after all, my idea, and I know that I'll be fine. I guess it's just the mountain of boxes is making me realize this is real. Which means I am about to leave my family (I have never lived more than 30 minutes from my parents) and my friends to start life in a province where I will be a minority, not because of my race but because of my mother tongue.

As much as I think that I will be more at home on the East Coast, there will be a learning curve. While I do speak (pretty good by most accounts) French, I am still lacking confidence speaking it to strangers, although L keeps insisting that I will be perfectly bilingual in a matter of months. So, in addition to film I am going to start blogging all things Quebec, mostly because Quebecois culture has fascinated me ever since I was crowned Duchess of my kindergarten class during our version of Winter Carnival (I went to a French Immersion school).

Of all the places we could be going, Montreal makes sense for a host of reasons:

- Allegedly they get more sun than Vancouver and being that I am affected by S.A.D., this seems like a good thing
- The arts seem to be better supported, both my the government and by the public
- The bars are open until 4 AM
- They will pay me to have a baby
- I have a better chance of running into Jean-Nicholas Verrault
- I already promised Jeremy Knox I would help him review at next year's Fantasia Festival
- I can already cook tourtiere, cretons, and tarte au sucre
- I really want to go to Carnival for my birthday and it's easier to drive there from Montreal

Wish me luck.