In Defense of Long Duk Dong (sort of)

Because my workload can vary dramatically from one day to the next, I spend a lot of time surfing the internet, watching webisodes and obsessively refreshing my favourite blogs. Which is how I found this post on the NPR In Character blog about everyone's favourite Asian stereotype: Long Duk Dong from Sixteen Candles. The gist of the article is basically that Dong is a stereotype and Asian American men who attended school in the 80's were all at one time or another referred to as "the Donger".

As the child of a Japanese Canadian woman (Sansei for those who care) and a Caucasian father, I've been aware of the evils of racism and stereotyping since perhaps a little earlier than most people. Things like the Japanese Canadian internment during WWII formed my identity as a child. While the majority of my childhood was rooted in western culture (I never did learn how to speak more than a few words in Japanese), I was aware that not everyone had a Baachan instead of a Grandma, not everyone went to a Buddhist Church on Sundays and not everyone had stick straight black hair they couldn't do anything with.

And while I haven't had the same cultural experience as other Asian-Canadians, I usually identify as "Asian" because that is how others identify me first. And I take this to heart. I smile politely when people tell me I need to visit Japan, a country even my mother has never been to and has few ties with. And I take negative (or in most cases ridiculous) portrayals of Asians very personally.

And yet, I love, no... I LOVE, Long Duk Dong. I am not sure if this is a love worth defending, or if I should just characterize it as a guilty pleasure, but here I go anyways.

As kids, my sister and I grew up on John Hughes movies. My favourite was (predictably) The Breakfast Club. Her's was (also predictably) was Sixteen Candles. And even though we know better, to this day we giggle hysterically as we trade Dong-isms back and forth:

"You beat up my face".

"Sexy American Girrrlfriend!"

"Mehleed?"

But I think on some level it is because we know that these jokes belonged to us. None of our other friends are allowed to laugh at these jokes, lest they be branded a racist. Which is a shame, because they are really fucking funny. Not because they reinforce offensive stereotypes, although they do. They are funny because the actor delivering the lines is genuinely funny.

Sixteen Candles was Gedde Watanabe's second film role, and likely the first one to give him anything to do. While things have improved somewhat for Asian actors since the '80's, let's try to wrap our heads for one second around how hard it must have been for Watanabe to break into things in the first place. Obviously he read the script and understood what his role in the film was. He was comic relief. He was a stereotype. He was the "other". And he acts the fucking hell out of his role.

I guess this is one of the things that lets me not get completely offended by the Donger, as opposed to Mickey Rooney's portrayal of Mr. Yunioshi in Breakfast at Tiffany's-- at least the Donger was portrayed by an Asian person. It is more like we are laughing with someone, than at someone. Watanabe understands how outrageous his performance is, Mr. Rooney was relying on WWII stereotypes created to demonize Japanese people. Long Duk Dong is a comedic character who happens to be Asian. He could easily have come from England, or Kazhikstan, and while he would still a stereotype, it is the stereotype of "other", not simply a nasty embodiment of what white people think Asians are.

Granted, I was not an Asian male growing up in the '80's. I know I will never truly understand the complicated expectations that are heaped on Asian men, but I do have a hard time with this albatross of Asianess that so many of my Asian male friends carry around with them, the whole "Banana Boys" identity crisis thing. Maybe it is because I am not "completely" Asian. Maybe it is because I am an Asian female and therefor fetishized and desireable. But I take almost as much offense at this self martyrdom as I do the less savoury aspects of Long Duk Dong. As I pointed out to one Asian male friend while he moaned and wailed about how hard life is for Asian men and how white girls (or girls in general) weren't interested in Asian men: maybe female lack of interest comes from the fact that women are simply turned off by whining and moaning. Then again, I have never been called "The Donger" or been asked if I knew Kung Fu simply because of the colour of my skin (I do however regularly get asked if I eat a lot of sushi, especially now that I live in Quebec...)

That said, I am not trying to excuse Long Duk Dong all together. The accent is problematic and the whole dressing like a retarded person joke is offensive on multiple levels.

Focusing on what was positive about the character: depictions of Asian men on film have been traditionally non-sexual. There have been entire master thesis written about how Bruce Lee is the only guy in Enter the Dragon who doesn't go fool around with the girls. Arguably it was because Lee wanted to be portrayed as a spiritual, serious minded fighter. Fine. But that is only one in long line of examples. Dong, on the other hand, on his first night out, hooks up with a busty blond. Granted she is a "geek", not possessing the aesthetic qualities demanded by middle-American ideals of beauty, but she's exactly what Dong is looking for. She makes him happy. And the fact that they are both outsiders seems to solidify their relationship, and make them probably the most functional couple portrayed in the film, even if it is only for one night.