Attention Wannabe Horror Filmmakers

Found this on Craigslist the other day by accident. Wouldn't have bothered posting about it except that I know the guy who posted it. I reviewed his film Subhuman about a year ago, and I do have to say I was impressed. This man is serious, and talented, so if you have a project in mind it's probably worth contacting him. I wish him much luck in this endevour and I look forward to following his progress.

This is Kinda Cool...

So, as most of you are aware, the Sundance Independent Film Festival is currently in full swing. I've never been myself, but it is something on my to do list, although my fear of yuppies will probably keep me away for a while yet. However, Film Threat has come up with the next best thing. In addition to the regular deluge of reviews they provide, they've added a blog and videos (!) to their coverage this year. That's right, now you too can watch a drunken Eric Campos mutter about how all the parties suck, and watch Chris Gore coast on his name. And it's updated everyday. I'm so jealous.

I Love Uwe Boll!

I've said it before, and I'll say it again: the man is my hero. There seems to be a misconception that he is somehow a part of the Hollywood scene, but as this interview proves, he too rages against the machine. Apparently we should in fact be blaming Billy Zane, something I don't really find that hard to do. My favorite part is when he talks about how he deleted an entire script from his computer. Genius!

So, who's coming with me to see BloodRayne?

Buy This!!

In an effort to make up for my lack of posting this week, I've decided to just spread out my week's posts over the course of today. Gives me an excuse to stop the Anime insanity (cramming, what's cramming?) and you an excuse to keep hitting "Refresh." And so...

Our lovely friend (I said friend, I feel so special) Robin Boogie has released another DVD, which you need:



For more info or to order, check Robin's Live Journal or go here.

Good Excuse

Okay, so I disappeared off the face of the planet again. But when I tell you why, I think you'll be happy. That's right, we're doing another Evil Film School night.

Friday, January 27th.
Doors are at 7:30pm, first film is at 8:00pm.
And the films, oh the films!
Legends of the Superheroes and 3 Dev Adam (a.k.a. Turkish Spider-man)!!!
Same location as the Xmassacre (Blim @ 197 E. 17th, just off Main).
Admission is again by donation (suggested $5 to cover operating costs & to ensure future screenings).
For more info, email evilfilmschool (at) gmail (dot) com.

Dubai's Guide to Marital Bliss

Found this while reading Brian's Globe & Mail over his shoulder on the plane to Calgary and had to share. Who knows, the marriage you save could be your own.

In the United Arab Emirates, nearly one in two marriages fails -- a high rate by the standards of Muslim societies. To help improve the odds, the Dubai Police department recently published a six-page pamphlet aimed at educating newlyweds. What follow are selected excerpts.

Advice for The Man

• A woman doesn't like a miser. So don't be stingy in offering gifts and invitations frequently.


• Don't forget to flirt with her and satisfy her desire in bed.


• A woman doesn't like criticism. So don't engage in verbal assaults to show her weak points openly.


• Don't expect her to solve problems in a reasonable way, because she is too passionate to solve them logically.


• Don't interfere with how she runs the house. Instead, give her the confidence and let her feel the queen of her nest.


• Try to satisfy her femininity by praising her and admiring her clothes, makeup, cooking and home design.


• You should take into consideration a woman's mood swings during child-birth, pregnancy and menstruation.


• Don't sway away from your wife because she likes to be heard or listened to.


• A husband committing adultery is the harshest issue to a woman, so don't even think about doing it.


• Don't forget what she asks for. Otherwise, she will feel unloved and that she means nothing to you.

Advice for The Woman

• Don't compare yourself to him. He is different.


• Don't intrude into his solitude when he prefers to be alone to deal with problems he is trying to solve.


• Don't provoke the cruel nature in your man. When he is nervous, he can lose his patience instantly.


• Don't expect him to do what you like doing, for he does not think the same way you do.


• Don't impose your thoughts on him, because he will get angry if he feels that you are dominating him.


• A man doesn't like a talkative woman. Don't nag because it will only confuse him.


• Don't wait for him to say sorry, because he doesn't like to apologize. In case he wants to express regret, he will do it indirectly.


• Don't leave him feeling unwanted, in order not to lose his tender loving care.


• Don't tell him something he doesn't like, because doing this would hurt his feelings and ruin his mood.


• Don't criticize him in front of his friends or family, for he will feel that you are challenging his masculinity.


• Don't nag him with questions all the time, because he likes to be free as a bird.


• Don't let him feel unwanted during love-making; otherwise, he will seek pleasure from another partner.


• Keep the secrets of your husband because he is secretive by nature.


• Don't tell him you are better than him in order to not lose his love and respect.


• Shower him with your love and care for him because this satisfies his desires.


• Don't give your children care and tenderness more than your husband. He should be the focus of you attention when he is home.

Gulf News

Video Joy

So, despite being a "blogger" and playing around lots on the intraweb, I have managed to miss out on many a meme or cool site. Like today, I decided to spend a good 2 hours educating myself on Numa Numa and Red vs. Blue. I know, don't mock me too harshly (although I have a feeling you can probably guess how much work I actually have to do this weekend, ha!)

However, my favourite recent discovery (courtesy of my good friend Louie, who is awesome), is Teen Homicide, a series created by a couple of his friends for Channel 102, the East Coast cousin of the also very excellent Channel 101. For those not familiar (okay, fine, again it's just me, but fuck you I'm gonna explain it anyways), Channels 101 & 102 work thusly: Every month, filmmakers submit a 5 minute pilot. These pilots are voted on at a live screening, with the winners returning the next month with another 5 minute episode. Losers are either considered "Failed Pilots" or "Cancelled". I think it's a great concept, and it really seems to have taken off. In fact, Channel 101 seems to have become such an empire that many of their more popular shows are all self-referential. A little frustrating for the uninitiated, but watching these communities being built is still kind of inspiring. And for the record, my favourite Channel 101 show right now is Yacht Rock. Do yourself a favour and watch all 5 episodes right now.

Movies I Watched Instead of Writing Part 11

Big Doll House [1971] -- God bless Jack Hill. Pam Grier's first big movie. She wasn't given that much to do, but what she was given certainly gives her opportunity to stand out. A little slow moving, (ok, fine, I fell asleep) but all in all a respectable American entry into the chicks behind bars genre. Sadly, after Female Convict Scorpion, there really isn't much going back.

Syrianna [2005] -- The two most common complaints I've heard regarding this movie are that a) it's too hard to follow and b) it doesn't go far enough. Both of these complaints are pure and utter crap. If you find reading the newspaper confusing, then sure, maybe the movie could be hard for you to follow, but most people with half a brain in their heads should have no trouble. As for the other complaint, the fact is it's a film made with Hollywood money meant to appeal to a broad(ish) audience. To completely explain and examine the complicated issues surrounding the subject matter (oil) would require a television series that would need to run for about 10 years. As far as boiling down the basic points and putting them into context, I think the film did a great job, especially in tying each facet of the story to a character or characters we could really invest in. It also managed to avoid the soapier moments of Traffic (also written by Stephen Gaghan), and as a result I really prefer Syrianna. A self assured & throught provocking directorial debut.

Grizzly Man [2005] -- Werner Herzog doc on self-proclaimed "Guardian of the Grizzlies," Timothy Treadwell, who spent 13 summers in the wilds of Alaska living with and documenting the native grizzly population before he and his girlfriend were mauled to death in 2003. As is expected, Herzog does an amazing job of first drawing our sympathies towards this sensitive crusader who would lecture in schools free of charge, before slowly peeling away at the fabricated persona to expose a much darker, confused soul, who by all accounts got what he perhaps subconsciously wanted.

Munich [2005] -- Nice try Spielberg, but no cigar. What starts off as a gripping, dark ode to gritty '70's films like The Conversation, quickly devolves into typical Hollywood melodrama. And he really did have me going, which is perhaps why the devolution which occurred irked me so much. Then again, maybe it's just that for me, there's no question. The assassinations were purely political, with Munich providing a nice excuse to rouse patriotism. Did we really need 3 hours to examine how futile the "eye for an eye" ideology is? I actually laughed out loud near the end during the big "sex/assassination" montage. However, I felt the performances were all very strong and I did appreciate the final shot of the Twin Towers. But, having just seen the intelligent and classy Syrianna, I have no idea what this movie is doing at the top of so many top 10 lists.

Wedding Crashers [2005] -- Much funnier than I expected, with a nice raucous John Landis sort of feel through much of it (they even use the Otis Day and the Knights version of "Shout" from Animal House)However, the Will Ferrell cameo near the end almost sank it for me. He was fine when he was inside the house, but given room to move around, the magic wore off very quickly. What happened to you Will Ferrell?! You were supposed to save comedy! You and Dave Chappelle were supposed to be our saviours!! Oh well, I guess it's up to Seth Rogen now.

I'm Baack!

Some of you (okay, fine, just Theron) may have been wondering where I’ve been for the last week. Well, from Thursday to Sunday I was in Calgary at another motorcycle show. Prior to that, I was going crazy trying to get all my stuff finished in time for the bike show. Three days & three nights of writing Anime, drinking green tea by the pot and eating leftover marshmallows does tend to wear on the soul.

As for the bike show itself, what can I say? It was better than Seattle, since people actually seemed to show up this time. And the weather was surprisingly mild, mostly clear and sunny hovering around zero during the day with only the faintest specks of white dancing in the sky. And the eats in Calgary are surprisingly good. Thursday night we went to this French restaurant called Fleur de Sel that we discovered last year. Brian talked me into getting the ostrich, which was not nearly as gamey as I had feared. Kinda like pork, but with a richer poultry-like flavour. Waiter kept trying to convince me that ostrich was native to Canmore (some sort of freak glacial incident), which led to the on going debate between Brian and myself as to whether the waiter was gay or not. Didn’t manage to settle that one, but I’m confident my gaydar is finer tuned than his is.

Friday night was spent at Mercato, an unusual Italian bistro style place that’s actually inside an upscale Italian supermarket. Again, much better than I suspected, I had the Forest Mushroom Fettucini, which was excellent, and a very nice Pinot Blanc. Dinner conversation was this time preoccupied with cracks about pecorino & risotto balls, not to mention the two foot long pepper mill.

Saturday we went to The Living Room, a very trendy lounge style place where Mike spent the whole time giving the waiter grief, something which Brian & I teased him about for the rest of the trip. Being that I’d managed to grab a sandwich with my aunt & uncle who happened to stop by the show, despite my not calling them (or anyone I knew in Calgary for that matter); I opted for a light dinner of warm spinach & scallop salad and the phyllo wrapped brie (okay, maybe not so light) accompanied by a big buttery Chardonnay. Mike got me to confess that the only reason I do the bike shows is for the Chardonnay & the creme brules. And let me tell you, I have had my fair share of crème brules & this had to have been one of the best. It was tri-flavoured & came in this cool stripy dish that didn’t work so well with the big fat desert spoon I’d been given. Amaretto, chocolate, & a honey rosemary thing that nearly caused me to cream my panties. So good!!

Sunday was a hard slog as it usually is, but it did give me time to get some bike pictures & girl talk with Stephanie from Nakusp. Managed to bluff my way through two bike centric conversations with one of the Ducati salesmen, something I seem to be getting better at. Or maybe he didn’t care either since I’m pretty sure he was trying to flirt with me. Oh well. Then it was time to pack up & rush out to the airport for the flight home. Only one more show to go (Vancouver, in two weeks), then I’m all done with bikes until next year.

Just because everyone keeps telling me how good I look on a scooter.

For more pix of me on a Vespa, go here.

Happy New Year!

Just got back from my baachan's house where, as is tradition, I stuffed myself stupid. New year's is a big deal in Japanese culture, and while it used to be celebrated according to the lunar calendar like in China & Korea, they decided to change it in 1873. Which means that come January 1rst, no matter how hungover and skanky I feel, it is my duty to clean myself off and join my family at my baachan's house so that we can eat fresh sashimi (the only time of year my baachan actually splashes out on raw tuna) & try not to make too many faces at the stinky New Year's soup that only my mom will eat. Went pretty easy on the sake considering the events of the night before (I'll get to that another day) & was pretty disappointed at the lack of mochi. Especially since the frozen mochi my sister had brought last night was dried out & tough, although she did promise to buy me a mochi machine when she goes to Japan. That would be sweet.

(The graphic is from a traditional New Year's Card or nengajyo that you can buy through this site.)