Perspective

So, a couple weeks ago while in the midst of full on Wedding Madness I ended up talking my way into writing a film review. I felt kinda stupid about this considering I am so behind on my Den of Sin columns and had pretty much blown off any other writing assignments that had come up, but I was restless and knew that by writing this review I would be helping a local filmmaker. Because I had been mostly writing mainstream film reviews for my "paying" gig, I think I'd kinda lost the spark of what I was doing, and more importantly, why I was doing it. So I watched the film and managed to stake-out some time to actually write the review. I whined and moaned: I had so much to do, why had a I agreed to do a review 1 week before the wedding? The filmmaker was emailing me to check up. I buckled down and finished my review and sent a copy to the filmmaker.

This was his response:

These are the type of reviews we can only dream about. Thank you for a thought provoking accolade. You do us a great honour with your writing. It inspires me to be a better filmmaker, so we may maintain a higher level of storytelling that the viewing audience will enjoy.

I don't think it is really just a coincidence that I got this email at this time in my life. With all the stress of the wedding and the whole new film editor at Terminal City thing, I was really starting to question why I even bothered. Especially when it was often so hard for me to bother in the first place. Was I really that stressed, or was I just lazy? If I really wanted to succeed, wouldn't I have done so already? But now I remember. I love film. I love the people who make films. I love the whole process and I love to examine it and pick apart how things work and why things appeal to me.

Although many people talk about the let-down after putting on a big(ish) wedding, whether it be a subconcious response to that level of commitment or simply withdrawl from all the excitement, Beej & I just feel filed with energy to move forward. We have been itching to get back to our lives and really push forward. Beej has "The Undead" to edit. I have a pile of writing to get behind. And for one of the first times in my life I really feel like we can do it, because of the support from our friends, family and larger communities.